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Monday, August 16, 2010

A Mother's Path




Our friend, and Mom and Dad's masters swim coach, Karen Dugan sent Dad this piece the other day- telling us that it reminded her of Mom.  We all really liked it, and so Karen read it at moms memorial service on Thursday.  Now that I am a Mom- I hope I can be all this and more to Miss Dyllan.


A Mother's Path

The young mother set her foot on the path of life.
"Is this the long way?" asked the young mother as she set her foot on the path of life. And the Guide said:
"Yes, and the way is hard, and you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning."

The young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, she fed them and bathed them, taught them how to tie their shoes and ride a bike, and reminded them to feed the dog and do their homework and brush their teeth. The sun shone on them and the young mother cried,

"Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."

Then the nights came, and the storms, and the path was sometimes dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her arms. The children said,

"Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children,

"A little patience and we are there."

So the children climbed and as they climbed they learned to weather the storms. And with this, she gave them strength to face the world. Year after year she showed them compassion, understanding, hope, but most of all unconditional love. And when they reached the top they said,

"Mother, we could not have done it without you."

The days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years. The mother grew old and she became little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And the mother, when she lay down at night, looked up at the stars and said:

"This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned so much and are now passing these traits on to their children."

And when the way became rough for her, they lifted her, and gave her strength, just as she had given them hers. One day they came to a hill, and beyond the hill they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And Mother said,

"I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk with dignity and pride, with their heads held high, and so can their children after them." And the children said,

"You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."

And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said,

"We cannot see her, but she is with us still."


A mother is more than a memory. She is a living presence. Your Mother is always with you. She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street, she's the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick and perfume that she wore, she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not feeling well, she's your breath in the air on a cold winters day.

She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the colors of a rainbow, she is your birthday morning. Your Mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop.

A mother shows through in every emotion - happiness, sadness, fear, jealousy, love, hate, anger, helplessness, excitement, joy, sorrow - and all the while hoping and praying you will only know the good feelings in life.

She's the place you came from, your first home, and she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love, your first friend, even your first enemy, but nothing on earth can separate you.

Not time, not space - not even death!

~ Written for Good Housekeeping Magazine in 1933 by Temple Bailey ~

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Mer- MAN (and Dyllan)

A natural


On Sunday Dan and I took Dyllan over to Jessica's house for a swim in their pool.  Dyllan has only been swimming once or twice- and it didn't really count.. The first time- we were both in our clothes, and only got in enough for Dyllan's diaper to soak up the water like a sponge- and the second time we took her in the lake and it was too cold- and she cried.  This time we did it properly.  We slathered her with sun screen, put on her princess outfit- and dunked her under water.  Needless to say, she loved it... for about 5 min.   Phew- a lot of work putting on the special swim diapers, the suit, the sunscreen.. for 5 min of pool time- only to take off the diapers, the suit, give a bath, and change her back into her original outfit.  Oh well.. she will be a swimmer in no time.  We are convinced.

Ready?

Blowing Bbbles



Freestyle

Butterfly

Frog kick

Busta- move

Synchronized Swimming








Monday, August 9, 2010

Planning the Wedding

These last few weeks have blurred into one really long day.. and we have been so busy trying to get plans in order for mom's service that I haven't had much time to focus on Miss Dyllan's blog..

I keep referring to mom's memorial service as "the wedding" because it feels like we are planning a wedding- with only 1 week to plan it.  Booking the church, organizing the reception, coordinating out of town guests, accommodations, the service program, order of events, a slide show, decorations, the after party.. the outfits, the speeches, the article in the newspaper.. the list goes on.  I have never planned a memorial service before, so this is a new thing to us.  We are so lucky to have so many hands helping out- that the task doesn't seem so daunting.  Its all really starting to come together now- and I have to say- I think its going to turn out great!

I will leave you with this.. this is the article we have submitted to the Mercer Island Reporter.

Kerry Sussex was an amazing woman full of passion, spontaneity and integrity... with a dash of spice thrown in. She passed away peacefully at home, surrounded by family and friends, on August 5th, 2010, after courageously fighting ovarian cancer for more than three years. She was 54 years old. Kerry married her college sweetheart, Steve in 1977.



Kerry's fun and out-going ways were a magnet for bringing people together. She was a successful realtor with John L Scott on Mercer Island for more than 25 years. She and her business partner, Bonnie Sanborn, were familiar names to Mercer Islanders.


Kerry loved to compete. Kerry’s “can do” attitude was expressed in running, biking, swimming, hiking, skiing, sailing, diving...practically anything outdoors. She loved walking her service dog, Mylo.


Kerry continued to participate in many athletic events including swimming the Tour de Mercer and the Annual Swedish Summer Run for Ovarian Cancer Research. More than 100 friends joined Team Sussex to support Kerry in the 2010 run.


She is preceded in death by her parents, Daniel and Nancy Cameron. She is survived by her sister Becky, her brothers Todd and Robin, her husband Steve, son Sean, daughter Erica, son-in-law Dan, and treasured 6 month old granddaughter, Dyllan Grace.


A celebration of Kerry's life will be held on Thursday, August 12th, 11am, at the Mercer Island Presbyterian Church.

The Sussex family would like to thank Dr. Hank Kaplan and the Swedish Cancer Center.
Per Kerry’s wishes, please make remembrances to:

Kaplan Cancer Research Fund
c/o Swedish Foundation
747 Broadway, Seattle, WA. 98122

Here are a few Dyll-Bug Pictures- so you can see what she's been up to amid all this chaos, haha.  I keep reminding myself how lucky we are to have the worlds easiest baby.  She has been an angel.  So content with anyone- and happy playing with just about anything she can put her gums on...

Hanging out with Jessica and Suzie- watching the Blue Angles from shore

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Remembering Mom

"All you need is love" ~ mom used to always say that.
Its been busy around here lately, and I haven't been able to write on the blog in a few days.  The house has been filled with friends and family and more good food than we could possible eat ourselves!  Debbie has been collecting photos for the slide show we are working on for mom's service- scanning old photos and taking emailed photos and CD's from anyone and everyone who wants to contribute.  Lots of pictures needless to say. 

Planning a memorial service is new to all of us (I think I've only been to 1 or 2 funerals in my life..)- and I have to say- it feels like we are planning a wedding (but with only 4 days left to plan).  It just goes to show- things have a way of coming together- even in a time crunch.  Everyone has stepped up and taken a role in this planning process and I have to say- this memorial service is going to turn out great!  We have Charlie Salerno and his band playing some of mom's favorite music- we have Val and Chad playing the violin and guitar- we have a slide show with some of the best photos- and many hands helping out along the way. 

For anyone interested in attending mom's service, it will be heald Thursday, August 12 at 11am at the Mercer Island Presbyterian Church ~ 3605 84th Ave SE ~ Mercer Island, Wa. 98040 with a reception to follow (at the church also).

Two people passed this poem onto me yesterday- My Aunt Eileen passed it on- saying she really liked it and that my Grandma Sussex (who passed away Nov. 2008) included it at her fathers memorial.  Bonnie Sanborn (mom's business partner for 20 years) also passed this onto me.  It must be significant. 



Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow,

I am the softly falling snow.

I am the gentle showers of rain,

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,

I am in the graceful rush

Of beautiful birds in circling flight,

I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room.

I am in the birds that sing,

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there. I do not die.



by Mary Elizabeth Frye

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Blue Angels and True Angels

Posted by Dan


On 11:34 am this morning Dyllan's Gran-ma Kerry passed away after the bravest, most admirable fight against the beast that is Ovarian Cancer.

I have never, and probably will never witness such a moving turn of events like the ones I have witnessed over the past week here at Camp Sussex.

My thoughts today are two-fold , to capture what I just witnessed - the emotion, the unforgettable moments and the vivid images while they are so fresh - but most just as importantly to try and sum up the strength, resilience and the incomparable leadership  my wife  has shown over the past 4 years, and especially in the past few weeks.

Anyone who knew Kerry would tell you that she represented everything that was brilliant and significant- the last few moments of her life were no different. As Erica, Steve, Sean, Jodi, Debbie and myself all sat in awe of our hero, the silence was broken with the roar of the mighty Blue Angels performing their warm up routine before Seafair. Kerry loved the Blue angels and I have a good feeling her spirit hitched a ride onto one of those bad boys and flew off into the sky at Mach 1 !

  The mood in the house over the past week was consistently peaceful and you couldn't help to feel it as you walked in - No matter what your current state of mind was, the atmosphere that was created with all the love from the friends, family and supporters set the perfect resting place for our dear Kerry.

Everyone had a special chance to say their goodbye's and each used the spirit of the house to keep them collected and positive when they reflected on Kerry's life and hugged her for the last time.

Kerry just wanted everyone to be fine - I am confident that is why she hung around. In true Kerry style she  kept on fighting for 13 days when we were told on the 24th of July that she had just days left. Just like when she was diagnosed and there were words like of 12 -24 months - she was with us for 48 ! Tell her she can't and she wants it more - says Steve !

Well Kerry- As you race off on the Blue Angels you leave us here on earth for now- We promise to keep up your legacy of strength, joy and most of all uncomprimised love and we will never forget you and the lessons you have taught us. 


An Angel: A person who supports or champions an activity, cause, or institution, for example and leadership - This sums up my wife and the role she has taken in the journey of her mums battle with cancer.

I am so proud of her and the amazing job she has done keeping herself and everyone around her grounded and focused on the important things.

Out of all the amazing people in Kerry's life  - as both friends and loved ones -  Erica and Kerry had a relationship and a soul mate like connection like no other, I would say they were as close as any Mother and Daughter could be.

Erica took on the task as leader, carer, nurse, coach, confidant, therapist and daughter with grace and brilliance - Right up to the last moment before we set Kerry free, Erica held her head high and with such confidence and stability she told her mom - we are going to be fine, you can go  !



WOW - Erica is an Angel. Dyllan we are so lucky to have such a strong woman in our lives ! So let this message go out to the universe and I ask for all the love, care and good fortune be cast back into Erica's life as she deserves all the positive power this earth has to offer.

I adore,love and respect you Cat  x

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Three Men and a Baby

Tim, Alex, and Sean

Yesterday Sean's friends came to hang out, and I got the most surprising text from  Sean asking to "bring Dyllan over".  So I brought Dyllan over to the casita with her bottle and bib and told them that I was heading out to Costco and Trader Joes- and that I would just leave Dyllan with them till I got back.  They said no problem!  I got back to find Tim ( on the left) pacing around rocking Dyllan around the house.  I told him I could take her back if he had enough- and he said no- he was fine!  The boys passed her around all night- as they hung out.  So cute to see the boys so fascinated with a baby..




Monday, August 2, 2010

Grandma Time

Not much time today for writing, but took lots of pictures.  We spent some quality time with mom and her friends.  Then were later joined by more friends- Sean's friends- and the regular crew (Elaine, Bill, Debbie, Jody)  all stayed for Pizza, chicken wings, and sleep overs.  Fun day.

Holding Hands




Talking to Grandma